Min is this week’s Fun Monday Hostess. She has challenged us to write the worst opening sentence of a novel. This was a lot harder than I thought it would be! After much pondering, here is my Fun Monday contribution.
A Fairy Tale of Frustration
Once upon a time, there was a beautiful, young princess named Esmeralda (her name has been changed to protect her identity and since “The Hunchback of Notre Dame” is her favorite movie right now, which is actually pretty racy for a Disney movie, we will call her Esmeralda) who no matter how the Queen begged, pleaded, cajoled, bribed, yelled, cried and threatened to throw her in the dungeon, which everyone knows she wouldn’t do because she loves the little Princess more than she loves ice cream, no matter what the Queen promised her, Princess Esmeralda just would not use the damn potty!
Go on over to Min’s for a list of the Fun Monday participants.
27 Comments
March 5, 2007 at 7:41 am
Love it!
March 5, 2007 at 7:51 am
Ha! Good or bad, I can totally relate.
March 5, 2007 at 8:56 am
wait, don’t tell me you have a two year old who refuses to use the toilet too? story of my life.
March 5, 2007 at 9:01 am
This is way too real to be called bad! You thought you could fool me by changing names and using analogies, but I still managed to relate to your characters. Your wisdom and insight come through no matter how hard you try to be bad!
March 5, 2007 at 9:23 am
It’s great, though not actually ‘bad’, so does it count?
March 5, 2007 at 9:40 am
Enjoyed this a bunch! Funny!
March 5, 2007 at 9:41 am
enid loves those long asides in parentheses. they’re so bad they’re almost good! thanks for the giggle.
March 5, 2007 at 9:59 am
This has to win the prize for funniest so far (I have not read them all yet)!
Loved it and glad those days are well and truly behind me.
March 5, 2007 at 10:05 am
Awesome….made me giggle
March 5, 2007 at 10:17 am
Great, now WordPress is EATING my comments :/. And I DO NOT HAVE TIME for re-writing every freakin’ comment twice!
lol, NOT your fault, apparently I’m a bit testy.
WHAT I TRIED TO SAY the first time, was yep, I giggled, too. Yours, by far, is the SWEETEST bad sentence of the day…so twirly and little girlie kinda sorta
.
March 5, 2007 at 10:21 am
HA HA!!! Oh, this Queen has been there too.
Good, Bad Sentence.
March 5, 2007 at 10:29 am
Quite racy for a Disney movie!
LOL
That was awesome!
March 5, 2007 at 10:34 am
Very amusing those days are so far in the past I have ‘almost’ forgotton them
March 5, 2007 at 10:35 am
Ahhhh, potty training! Such a wonderful time for all involved!
March 5, 2007 at 11:11 am
my comments got eaten too.
And they were fantastic comments.
An awfully good (oxymoron?) sentence … and much sweeter than so many of the others.
March 5, 2007 at 2:40 pm
Something tells me this is a non-fiction entry! Great job!
March 5, 2007 at 2:46 pm
Errrr….Ummmm…So what you’re saying is that when it’s my turn, since I have a little Princess, too, that shares you name…
I’m toast.
Great.
I’d say I love your sentence, but it has scared the Hades outta me.
March 5, 2007 at 3:49 pm
Ha!
March 5, 2007 at 3:52 pm
Do you have ONCE UPON A POTTY??? I just got that book for a friend of mine whose 3 year old is not potty trained yet… and this little missy sits on her potty and reads this book and leaves a deposit every time.. I have given it lots of times to those little lovelies who are potty time challenged. .. check it out at amazon..
March 5, 2007 at 4:23 pm
I laughed my butt off. Forget the giggles. I’ve been there very recently, and remember the frustration vividly. So funny how we went in almost the same direction today. um, tell the queen “Good luck”.
ps. I was here earlier today, but couldn’t comment, because I was busy cleaning out my old computer (at work) so I could get a NEW one. Not that you probably care, but I am overjoyed, so I’m sharing. yippee!
March 5, 2007 at 5:03 pm
Ha ha , that was really bad! A semi-autobiographical bad sentence, very innovative.
March 5, 2007 at 5:51 pm
Very funny. We totally used the one for pee, two for poop approach with a bag of M&M’s.
March 5, 2007 at 6:39 pm
Funny blog. I found you from The Party ;o)
March 5, 2007 at 7:05 pm
Ha, very bad. But I will tell you that there comes a time, once your princess is trained, where she might slip into the bathroom with out telling you and use that potty (again not telling you). Then the royal hound will slip into the door that the princess left open and eat the contents of said potty and throw up a very smelly mess for the duration of a very long night. So you’ll lock him up in the royal kitchens (to avoid having to professionally clean the palace rugs), and the king (not believing your tale) will let him out and then curse wildly when you make him clean up that horribly smelly mess.
March 5, 2007 at 10:33 pm
lol – a most excellent bad sentence!
does the same hold true for naps?? if so, your (hypothetical) Princess and mine are in cahoots….
March 5, 2007 at 10:37 pm
Haha that’s awesome!! Do you ever think mothers should win some sort of ginormous award for each child successfully potty trained? It is absolutely bewildering to me that there aren’t more ten year olds still walking around in diapers with the effort it takes to potty train a child.
March 5, 2007 at 11:09 pm
Swinging in for the party. Nice to meet ya.
My 3rd party favor give away has begun. If ya get a chance come on over.
PARTY ON!!!!