Well, I went to my new endocrinologist today and my thyroid has to go. I have a toxic multinodular thyroid. Woohoo…toxic! Several months ago I went to my primary doctor because I was feeling generally crappy. He ran umpteen blood tests. Lo & behold my thyroid readings were totally screwy. (But my cholesterol was fanfriggintastic!) PD sent me for an ultrasound where they found a dozen lumps of various size (a couple really big suckers) on my thyroid. He tells me to get an appointment with an endocrinologist. Easier said than done. Apparently there are only ten endo docs in a fifty mile radius. Half of them only do diabetes, three are not taking new patients and the other 2 have wait lists as long as the Great Wall of China. Of the two only one is in my insurance plan, so guess who I chose. What a crappy way to have to choose a doctor. Luckily me sister in law is a nurse and knows this doc. Anyway, FOUR months later (today) I go for my appointment.
The doc asked me all sorts of questions: did I feel flushed? trouble sleeping? food cravings? irregular periods? shortness of breath? trouble swallowing? I was in the presence of The Oracle! How did he know? Finally a man who understands me, knows me…(reign it in B, he’s not Joaquin Phoenix, just a guy who’s seen some thyroids).
It turns out the shortness of breath and the trouble swallowing & sleeping are because my thyroid is SO big it is pressing against my trachea when I lay down. Basically it is smothering me in my sleep. Now I always figured it would be my husband smothering me but, nope, my own damn body is trying to do me in. So the thyroid has to go.
This calls for some B&J Vermonty Python.