Last week (the week before, whenever) before I had all of my thyroid drama, my boss offered me a promotion. I turned it down. Now for the second guessing.
Your role in this: tell me I did the right thing. Even if I didn’t. No no, just tell me the truth. Ya’ know- I did the right thing. Right?
First let me tell you a bit about the whole job thing. I have worked for this company for more than ten years. I like it. I like my job. My boss is great. He’s one of those people who will bend over backward for you. (As a wedding gift, he rented the reception hall for us!! Now you all wish you had my boss, admit it.) I would be happy to retire from this place.
Flashback four years:
My whole pregnancy I fully intended to go back to work when my maternity leave was over. My due date was March 29, 2003. At my scheduled ob visit on January 3 I was put on complete bed rest. (It was a rough pregnancy.) So for almost three months I laid (lay, lie, help) around watching paternity results on Maury. At this time I also realized, daytime tv sucks. Am I going back to work after the baby comes? Hell, yeah! I’m bored, we’re broke, see you eight weeks post birth.
Move forward to March 22, 2003:
E-baby is born.
Move forward six weeks:
Mama, hysterically crying with extra drama, “I can’t leave her! I can’t do it!”
Baby blues? Ha, we’re talking the whole baby frickin rainbow here.
After jiggling the books a bit, I am now a stay at home mom. Hooray, hearts and flowers.
Fast forward eighteen months:
“If I don’t get out of this house my brains are going to turn to jell-o!”
Best Boss calls around this time, “We have a little problem, can you work on it?”
Sure, no problem. I do it at home and go into the office a half day a week for a couple of months. It’s great. I’m happy. E-baby is happy. I have a bit of money and don’t have to ask the Big Guy for it. Don’t get the wrong idea, it’s not like he was withholding money from me or anything like that.
I really missed working. I never thought that would happen. A couple of months later, Boss agrees to my working part time at my old job. In January 2005 I am working three days a week, eight hours a day. My sister-in-law watches my girl and the situation is great.
Boy this is longer than I expected. Sorry.
Now here we are February 2007.
I work three eight hour days. The other two days E goes to preschool so I work for a few hours then. All in all, I am home more than I work, which is what I wanted to begin with.
Last week my boss offered me a promotion. I said no because I would have to work full time. I was really thrilled to be offered. It’s nice to have my work acknowledged. I didn’t even discuss it with the Big Guy, I just said no. When I told BG about it, he understood why I said no (Thank heavens!). But now? I wonder. I have never really been concerned with material things. Don’t get me wrong I like stuff just as much as the next person, I just don’t feel like I have to have the latest and greatest. Although a new digital camera would be nice. Our oldest will be in college in two years. Yeah, you forgot I have two kids didn’t you? Remember- 16 year old step daughter who I try not to embarrass on the internet? Anyway, she will be going to college in two years. Have you seen the cost of college lately? My house is worth less! Then there’s the fact she will be driving soon. Never mind getting her a car, just the car insurance is going to be a huge drain!
Lately I have been feeling like I am missing out on the E-baby. That working at all might not be the right thing. Then the next day I am so glad to work. Then, not glad. On and on so that I just don’t know what the right thing is any more. I don’t think I can stay at home full time (If at this time you feel inclined to ask me why I had kids if I didn’t intend to raise them, you can take your toys to another playground, I don’t want to hear it) I also don’t think I can work full time. Maybe when she is in school full time it will be different (which is what I told my boss).
So I didn’t take the promotion. I still work part time. I still want to work. I still want to be with my girl. I made the right decision. Right?