Introspection ~or~ What’s That In My Belly Button?

I have not really written anything lately.  Yeah, I’ve had a few posts but nothing about what’s really on my mind. 

I have typed and deleted for the last 15 minutes.  I usually just sit down and like pea soup at an exorcism, spew words at the computer.  I don’t usually think too much about what I write, I just do it.  It is a bit frustrating that I can’t quite put into words how I am feeling.  That really is the writing challenge, isn’t it?  Being able to get thoughts and feelings across without being physically seen.  Ya know, so I could make faces at you and punctuate my words with dramatic eye rolling. 

I’m not depressed (well, let’s be honest, yeah I am, but it’s not the overwhelming kind of depression that anyone needs to worry about).  I am introspective (word of the day).  Things are changing, some for good and some not so much.  

What has brought on this navel gazing?

An invitation to my twenty year high school reunion.  Twenty freakin years!  How the hell did that happen?

And the following conversation:

   

Sunday afternoon, the Big Guy, Sis, E-baby and I were in the kitchen.  Two of us were getting over the stomach bug and two of us hadn’t gotten it yet, so we were all feeling pretty good.

E-baby was on the computer playing her Mickey Mouse preschool game.  You should have seen her little hand moving the mouse around and trying to click the button at the same time.  She was sitting up straight and tall with a big grin on her face because she was having computer time.  The Big Guy and I were talking with Sis about driving lessons.  We talked about what the rules would be regarding car time and her other responsibilities. 

I had to leave the room.  I went into the living room and the tears started to flow.  BG came in and looked at me.  Bless his heart, he said the right thing!  With real love and sympathy, he looked me in the eyes and said,  “One on the computer and the other driving…they’re growing up, huh?” 

Well, the damn dam opened, “sob sob sob There’s no babies any more sob They’re growing up too fast sob sob  She’s going to be four sob and she’s going to be driving!! sob”

Oh the drama.

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13 Comments

Filed under List of 2007, Mama

13 responses to “Introspection ~or~ What’s That In My Belly Button?

  1. Damn, it does go by fast, doesn’t it?!

    Hope your spirit lifts soon…

  2. Yes..it goes by fast.

    Too fast.

    I love that you wrote this. Just love it.

  3. Don’t be sad. Wanna borrow my 14 month old? I drop her off and head to Target 🙂

    Great post….just like you…. great 🙂

  4. that was such a sweet post… but your babies will always be your babies no matter how old they are… think of all the hard work you and your sweetheart did to have such beautiful children.. who are healthy and growing..thats the miracle.. you guys have done this… I guess its true what is said.. that eventually in whatever quirky ways.. we become our parents… our parents had to watch us learn to drive… tempered with just the right amount of worry and love and guidance. Your younger one.. she is getting that hand eye thing down.. and growing .. I think its all amazing to watch our kids blossom.. and grow.. reach milestone after milestone.. and getting to reap the satisfaction in knowing as a parent you had hand in that moment.. thats pretty cool.. Congradulations. Hmm Get a puppy to fill those babies needs 🙂

  5. Awww, I know how you are feeling…everyday my 3 1/2 year-old does things that make me stop and realize that she’s such a big girl, and there’s nothing I can do to stop her from growing up.

    Just enjoy this time, because you know you’re going to turn around and she’ll be talking about sleepovers and stuff and you’ll wonder where the Mickey-Mouse-Game-Playing girl went 🙂

  6. Oh and my post today with baby faces and bottoms does not help any. =)

    Introspective. I like that word. i’ve been there lately too.

  7. Here’s to better sprits soon! You deserve it.

    They do grow up so doggone fast, don’t they? So many things I’ll miss, so many things I am happy to say goodbye to. Like biting. Someday I will have no one in the house that bites me. That will be nice. He may drive, but he won’t bite. It all works out, right?

  8. Like the Pink Floyd lyric from Time:

    And then one day you find, ten years have got behind you; no one told when to run, you missed the starting gun.

    Sobering.

    Your pea soup splattered into a very good post. Always a pleasure to read.

  9. Although, I have no kids of my own…I’m so sure that it is hard to see them grow up. To become a little more independant and realize they don’t need you like they have in the past. But just think of all there is to come. Your relationships with them will change..but change for the better…just think of it as a new chapter in your life…

  10. Oh I am SO with you on this. My twins will be 9 this month and I was like, “I blinked and suddenly they aren’t babies anymore! WTF?”

  11. You made me cry just by reading about it! I know how you feel although, the baby is still not walking so, I’m ok at the moment. She turned 14 months this week and having another one has really been traveling through my mind. A. Lot. I must be losing my mind!

  12. Jeffrey is only crawling and it’s already going too fast. It seems like yesterday we brought him home from the hospital. All four pounds of him and here he is now crawling around causing destruction to our living room.

  13. My nine-year-old is discussing puberty, insisting his voice is changing. I’m sad about them growing up too.

    Now I remember how I found you–From Dani up there because she is on Dating Dummy’s blog wide workout too.

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