I have not really written anything lately. Yeah, I’ve had a few posts but nothing about what’s really on my mind.
I have typed and deleted for the last 15 minutes. I usually just sit down and like pea soup at an exorcism, spew words at the computer. I don’t usually think too much about what I write, I just do it. It is a bit frustrating that I can’t quite put into words how I am feeling. That really is the writing challenge, isn’t it? Being able to get thoughts and feelings across without being physically seen. Ya know, so I could make faces at you and punctuate my words with dramatic eye rolling.
I’m not depressed (well, let’s be honest, yeah I am, but it’s not the overwhelming kind of depression that anyone needs to worry about). I am introspective (word of the day). Things are changing, some for good and some not so much.
What has brought on this navel gazing?
An invitation to my twenty year high school reunion. Twenty freakin years! How the hell did that happen?
And the following conversation:
Sunday afternoon, the Big Guy, Sis, E-baby and I were in the kitchen. Two of us were getting over the stomach bug and two of us hadn’t gotten it yet, so we were all feeling pretty good.
E-baby was on the computer playing her Mickey Mouse preschool game. You should have seen her little hand moving the mouse around and trying to click the button at the same time. She was sitting up straight and tall with a big grin on her face because she was having computer time. The Big Guy and I were talking with Sis about driving lessons. We talked about what the rules would be regarding car time and her other responsibilities.
I had to leave the room. I went into the living room and the tears started to flow. BG came in and looked at me. Bless his heart, he said the right thing! With real love and sympathy, he looked me in the eyes and said, “One on the computer and the other driving…they’re growing up, huh?”
Well, the damn dam opened, “sob sob sob There’s no babies any more sob They’re growing up too fast sob sob She’s going to be four sob and she’s going to be driving!! sob”
Oh the drama.