Flashback: Four Years Ago Part Two*

*Part One is the previous post.

Saturday, March 22, 2003  12:05 am

Would you please turn the tv down?  Change the channel, no change it.  I don’t care if we just went to war, I don’t want war on the tv while I’m in labor.  I don’t care.  Law & Order, Letterman, anything.

Yes I know, when older daughter was born we were at war in the same area.  Did you ever think it is you.  Yeah, if you stopped procreating presidents named Bush would stop declaring war in the Middle East.  Yeah.  You should have a vasectomy.  You’re going to get one right now if you don’t change the channel.

12:45 am

I feel like I’m ready for this kid to come out.  Ten centimeters.  Good.  Let’s do it.  Oh, finishing a c-section?  How long?  Oh ok no problem.

12:55 am

Yeah it would be- have your cigarette and get your coffee because once I start pushing you aren’t leaving the room.  It could take a while.  I don’t know, I’ve never done this before.  Some mothers on “Baby Story” push for a couple of hours.  Just go.  Yeah, Ma, you go, too.  My Sister is here I’ll be fine.  Just go.

12:57 am

Hi Doc.  Yeah I’m ready.  Ok you get everything set up, I’m not going any where. 

Sister, you better go find mom and the Big Guy.

1:05 am

It’s time.  I can push? ok

(pushing noises that have no English language translation)

1:06 am

Don’t worry I only pushed once, you didn’t miss anything.  You ready?  We’re having a baby!  I want to push again.

I’d rather have the episiotomy than tear.  Go ahead.  Um…that was interesting. 

1:11 am

I am pushing as hard as I can, what the hell?  push, push,push, it’s coming, it’s coming

1:12 am

What is it?  A girl!  We have a girl!  (Insert the dramatic crying here.)


Today is E-baby’s birthday.  And yes, I pushed three times and she came out.  I had a really great doctor that waited until E was right there before having me push.

We didn’t know what we were having.  In answer to “What is it?”  Doc said, “It’s a girl.  A fat girl!”  (E was 8 lbs 14 ozs.)  Like Mama, like baby!

A few people hate my daughter’s name.  When I was pregnant they made it really clear.  I was so upset because I have always loved her name.  No other name worked for me.  Finally the Big Guy told me, “If that’s the name you want if it’s a girl, then that is what it is!”  Just one more reason I let the man impregnate me.  You should have seen the eye rolling my sister did when we said her name.  Some times I still want to put my foot in her ass for that one. 

I can’t believe she is four.  It really does seem like just a few weeks ago she was born.  I can’t imagine my life without her.  She truly is the best thing that has ever happened to me.  I cannot even put into words the love I have for this child.  It is almost a physical ache.  I literally feel it.

When she said grace at dinner the other night, she asked God to make her birthday “the most perfectest day ever”.  I asked her what would be the perfect birthday.  Playing with her dollhouse, getting a new hula hoop since her old one has a bend in it and eating chicken. 

How could you not love this kid?

Happy Birthday E-baby!  I love you.


Special thanks to CPA Mom for helping me figure out the picture in a post thing.



Filed under E-baby, Mama

12 responses to “Flashback: Four Years Ago Part Two*

  1. Happy Birthday E-Baby (who I am sure has a lovely name, screw all the people who think otherwise).

  2. I had forgotten I had sent you instructions. Glad they made sense!! Karen Rani of Troll-Baby taught me so thanks must go to her.

    HAPPY B-DAY E-BABY!! I know well the physical ache of love, that you speak of. Very well put.

  3. Happy Birthday beautiful E-Baby 🙂

    I, too, know the physical ache of love…it’s amazing. I thought I’d been “in” love before….I don’t think I ever knew the true feeling of it until I met my daughter.

    Thanks for sharing…and give the girl her chicken!!

  4. Happy 4th Birthday to E-Baby! I hope she enjoys her chicken dinner and new, not-bent, hulla hoop!

  5. Awwwwwwwwww!!! Happy You Gave Birth Day!

  6. Happy Birthday E-Baby!

    That is a hilarious take on the labor situation.

    Did she get a hula hoop???

  7. Happy Birthing Day to you. Happy Birthday to your daughter.

  8. Happy Birthday E-baby!!! Ok, a day late, but still. The whole story cracked me up!! And, of course, I know the ache you mention. I hope her birthday was the most perfectest ever.

  9. Don’t leave us in suspense. Did she get her chicken?
    I hope her birthday was wonderful!
    Happy Birthday E-baby!!!

  10. Awesome! Happy birthday E-baby!

  11. mjd

    Happy Birthday to E-baby. Hopefully, there will be peace soon in the Middle East.

  12. Belated birthday greetings to E-baby! She sounds adorable!

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