Mama’s Day

Mother’s Day has come and gone.  It was good and bad.  Why bad?  Well I started Mother’s Day of in the walk in emergency care clinic.  For me.

I woke up to get ready for church.  We go to church every Sunday but I was really looking forward to it this Sunday because it’s always something special for the moms.

While stumbling to the bathroom I realize my right eye won’t open and it hurts like hell.  I look in the mirror.  With my left eye I see a giant, crusty, puffy ball where my right eye should be.  I come back out and ask the Big Guy if it’s as bad as I think it is.  He says, “Ugh YES.”  The look on his face was enough.  He tells me to go to the clinic.  I actually call in doc-in-a-box.  I don’t know why.

Slight grossness ahead.

I wet a cloth with some warm water to wash off the crust and make sure my eyeball in still in its home.  When I touch my eye the damn thing exploded!  The shit that came out of it was freakin disgusting.  But after that it felt a bit better.  Off to doc-in-a-box I go.

I sit and sit and sit.

I finally get called in.  Blah blah blah.  My allergies aggravated my eye so much my tear duct got infected.

The Physician’s Assistant (PA-in-a-box doesn’t quite ring)  who was treating me asks me if I have a regular doctor.  I tell her yes, Dr. Great I Love Him and If It Wasn’t Mother’s Day Sunday I Would Be In His Office is my regular doctor. 

Then the little bitch says to me, “Has Dr.GILH&IIWMDSIWBIHO ever discuss your weight problem with you?”

“Wha, huh?”

“Yes because you are grossly obese.”

“Wha, huh?  I’m here for my eye.”

“There are serious health risks related to obesity.”

“You don’t say.”

“Yes you are at risk for a myriad of health problems.”

Now I’m thinking my husband doesn’t want to bail me out of the clink on Mother’s Day if I start bitch slapping this little twit but damnation, she is RUINING MY DAMN DAY!

I say, “Thank you for your concern and Dr. Great and I have things under control.”

Is that it?


“I hope so because it will be much harder to lose weight now that you are entering middle age.”

The bitch is lucky to be alive.

I feel better having told the whole damn internet that.  Because you know I couldn’t tell my husband.  I don’t know why.

The rest of the day was pretty good.  At one point the Big Guy said, “Go take a nap.”  He knows I love a nap.  The bad thing- I wasn’t tired.  I didn’t want to waste my day napping.  Save that for some Sunday I just need to escape.  Everyone was being so good to me and I didn’t want to sleep through it!

What did I get from my loveys? 

You saw Ebaby’s flowers.  Sis gave me this really great framed picture with a peace lily and the verse “Love is Patient” on it.  I just have to figure out where I will hang it.

The Big Guy scored major points with his gift.  What is it?  A cleaning service!!  To do a major Spring clean for me!!  AND if it’s not too expensive I can have them come in once a month or even every other week!!!

I’m so excited for this.  The way my schedule has been I just don’t have time to do a good job of cleaning, never mind my usual spring cleanup.  My sister-in-law said she could never have a cleaning lady because she would feel like she had to clean before they got there.  Not me!  Come, clean my mess!  Because then I don’t have to and I can spend time with the girls and not telling Ebaby she has to get out of the bathroom while mama is cleaning it so the scrubbing bubble fumes don’t choke her.

The best gift ever!!



Filed under Mama

21 responses to “Mama’s Day

  1. kathe68

    UGH! That little *bleep*! Luckily you kept your cool & didn’t let her totally ruin your day. 🙂

  2. That PABitch is lucky I don’t live close to you. i would come take her DOWN!
    Your post reminded me of a doctor that once reminded me that I’m “pushing thirty.”

  3. She was totally a bitch. My friend has the infected tear duct thing going on and it has reached the point where she can’t open her eyes in the morning until she has worked a tear out.

    Fantastic present from the hubby! I too would feel the need to clean first, especially the bathrooms, but the spring clean thing sounds great.

  4. I am very jealous of your husband’s gift…I want that too!!

    ACK – that PA needed a slap down!

  5. happyworkingmom

    As I’m sure you know, you will love the cleaning service. We got one 2 years ago and have never stopped! It gives you so much more time to spend with your family!

    As for your encounter with the PA…holy cow, I have no idea what to say. There’s no reason for her to bring that up to you…she’s not your doctor…it’s none of her business. I’m so sorry that you had to experience that, especially in the beginning of the day. Why are there so many rude people out there?

  6. Horray for cleaning services!!

    Moving on….that BITCH!! Lemme guess: she weighed 90 pounds soaking wet and had her stethoscope stuck where it shouldn’t have been? I’m sorry. What she said is wrong and I’d SO file a report against her with the clinic. You weren’t there for that, she’s not your doctor and she needs to learn to keep her yap shut.

  7. J.

    I can NOT believe she had the nerve to say that to you. Wow. I would’ve told her right off.

  8. I call them Doc in a box too.

    I’m sorry you got such an asshat treating you. Hey, if it makes you feel any better, the doctor checking me in when I was in LABOR with Tigger, told me I was obese too. At 9 months pregnant. Yeah, Numb Nut.

    Hope your eye is better.

    I have someone come every other week to clean and I love it. Worth the $$. I pick things up so she can vacuum (vaccum?) but that’s it.

  9. Dude, I’d kick her ass for you! No one should talk to anyone that way, doctor or not. Too bad your eye bug wasn’t contagious. You could have wiped some goo on her.

  10. Dude, what a bitch! I think a day in jail might have just been worth kicking her ass!

    Is your eye better yet?

    Cleaning service? OMG, I cannot tell you how jealous I am!

    I am glad that, for the most part, you had a good Mother’s Day!

  11. Total BITCH! And on Mother’s Day of all days to be a BITCH.

    Cleaning services TOTALLY ROCK.

    Okay, enough with the all caps from me.

  12. OMG! Bitchasswhore!

    She needs to go to hell and die.

  13. Sounds like Roller Derby in your comments section, lol. I can NOT believe she said that to you…but I think I would’ve offered her some ice cream…or a Hershey’s bar…or pulled out a bag of chips…or SOMETHING! Sadly lacking in professionalism :/ and sorry you had to hear THAT on Mother’s Day (let alone have an exploding eye to begin with…!).

    N . I. C. E. gifts…maybe the best EVAH.

  14. OKAY here is my 99.99 cents worth.. ARRRRRRRRRRGHHHHH.. I would go and smack that asshat in the head and say listen honey.. I may be FAT but you are UGLY and I can lose weight.. UGLY is always UGLY!!!! the nerve of that idiot.. I would also ask to speak to the highest banana in the basket over there and issue a formal complaint. I wish you would have told your husband… I have been in a similiar situation before …. anywayyyyyyys… glad the rest of your Mothers Day was not ruined…

  15. Ok so I’m very jealous of the cleaning lady. I would love that present.

    That PA sounds like she needs to go to manners college and learn how to deal tactfully with people!

  16. I think a few days in the joint would have been worth it to bitchslap that little turd.

    As for the housekeeper… Had one ONCE. And revelled EVERY SINGLE SECOND of her time at my house. Particularly when she scrubbed the shit out from between every single little tile in my shower stall… and I sat downstairs and just listened to her work.

    The memories are still keeping me going…

  17. brown eyed girl

    Ok the doc in a box…SUCKS ASS!

    Yes, I’m very aware of my weight, thank you.

    The cleaning service—-SCORE! Seriously. I’ve looked into one for after we move and it’s really not all that bad.

  18. Okay that bitch so need to be fired!!!! She was totally in the wrong and shouldn’t even be working. Hell she would have a hey day with me but then I would kick her ass, jail or no jail. I would plead “self-defense” and get off, then go back and kick her ass, just because I got away with it the first time. OMG that makes me sooooooooo angry!!! It’s what’s inside that counts, not outside, and us heavy women know we are heavy so shut up bitch, no wonder you can only find a job at “doc in the box”
    Your hubby did turn you day around and how sweet of him to do that!! A cleaning service, ohhhhhhhhh what I would give for that!!! Like you , hell no I wouldn’t clean first, I would so be their job security!!!!!
    Hope your eye is doing better and that you never have to go back to that place again!

  19. Wow! Not a great way to start the day, but it ended good. I would love to have a cleaning service. When I was employed I did and loved every minute. I would always run around and pick everything up,but I sure as hell didn’t clean clean. As for the PA bitch, very unprofessional and I think I would be giving the office manager a call. Pretty is as pretty does. And bitch ain’t pretty.

  20. I’m a little late in responding to this sorry! First off, WOW I give you a TON of credit for not telling that bitch off. I think I would have totally lost it and told her to deal with the issue at hand. Crazy, what business is it of hers to say such nasty things? Just because she’s a PA does not give her the right to say shit to you!! I’m speechless, I’m thinking I might have even walked out or requested to see someone else. I would love to say don’t let it bother you or take it personal..but I know it isn’t possible, at least for me it wouldn’t be! GGrrr…such a bitch! ok…I’m getting myself mad just thinking about it…

    I’m really sorry she ruined part of your special day! I’m glad you did have some fun and “high” times throughout the day though. Love the homemade flowers..they are so cute!

  21. Okay I would have farking killed her. It was momma’s day for goodness sake!!!! The hubby would have to had to hold me back. I absolutely would make a complaint. This PA needs to realize that a decent bedside manner is part of the job and that once you said you have discussed it with your doc, her part was over.

    Arghh. moving on.
    The gift sounds awesome. Major kudos to your husband!!

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