Mother’s Day has come and gone. It was good and bad. Why bad? Well I started Mother’s Day of in the walk in emergency care clinic. For me.
I woke up to get ready for church. We go to church every Sunday but I was really looking forward to it this Sunday because it’s always something special for the moms.
While stumbling to the bathroom I realize my right eye won’t open and it hurts like hell. I look in the mirror. With my left eye I see a giant, crusty, puffy ball where my right eye should be. I come back out and ask the Big Guy if it’s as bad as I think it is. He says, “Ugh YES.” The look on his face was enough. He tells me to go to the clinic. I actually call in doc-in-a-box. I don’t know why.
Slight grossness ahead.
I wet a cloth with some warm water to wash off the crust and make sure my eyeball in still in its home. When I touch my eye the damn thing exploded! The shit that came out of it was freakin disgusting. But after that it felt a bit better. Off to doc-in-a-box I go.
I sit and sit and sit.
I finally get called in. Blah blah blah. My allergies aggravated my eye so much my tear duct got infected.
The Physician’s Assistant (PA-in-a-box doesn’t quite ring) who was treating me asks me if I have a regular doctor. I tell her yes, Dr. Great I Love Him and If It Wasn’t Mother’s Day Sunday I Would Be In His Office is my regular doctor.
Then the little bitch says to me, “Has Dr.GILH&IIWMDSIWBIHO ever discuss your weight problem with you?”
“Yes because you are grossly obese.”
“Wha, huh? I’m here for my eye.”
“There are serious health risks related to obesity.”
“You don’t say.”
“Yes you are at risk for a myriad of health problems.”
Now I’m thinking my husband doesn’t want to bail me out of the clink on Mother’s Day if I start bitch slapping this little twit but damnation, she is RUINING MY DAMN DAY!
I say, “Thank you for your concern and Dr. Great and I have things under control.”
Is that it?
“I hope so because it will be much harder to lose weight now that you are entering middle age.”
The bitch is lucky to be alive.
I feel better having told the whole damn internet that. Because you know I couldn’t tell my husband. I don’t know why.
The rest of the day was pretty good. At one point the Big Guy said, “Go take a nap.” He knows I love a nap. The bad thing- I wasn’t tired. I didn’t want to waste my day napping. Save that for some Sunday I just need to escape. Everyone was being so good to me and I didn’t want to sleep through it!
What did I get from my loveys?
You saw Ebaby’s flowers. Sis gave me this really great framed picture with a peace lily and the verse “Love is Patient” on it. I just have to figure out where I will hang it.
The Big Guy scored major points with his gift. What is it? A cleaning service!! To do a major Spring clean for me!! AND if it’s not too expensive I can have them come in once a month or even every other week!!!
I’m so excited for this. The way my schedule has been I just don’t have time to do a good job of cleaning, never mind my usual spring cleanup. My sister-in-law said she could never have a cleaning lady because she would feel like she had to clean before they got there. Not me! Come, clean my mess! Because then I don’t have to and I can spend time with the girls and not telling Ebaby she has to get out of the bathroom while mama is cleaning it so the scrubbing bubble fumes don’t choke her.
The best gift ever!!