Goal weight: 266.01
Actual weight: 261.0
For those of you who read yesterday’s post, I just wanted to clarify, seven pounds is my total lost, not this week’s loss.
I’m down another 1/2 pound and frankly, I am ecstatic. After this week, with it’s torture and extended visit from “my friend”, I really expected to gain at least two pounds!
I was emailing my pal MaryP (who just got married this past Monday, go say congrats) over the weekend. Something I said struck me. Yeah I said it but the reality of it didn’t sink in until after MaryP responded. What did I say?
It’s really not about the weight anymore, it’s about life and how we want to live it.
It isn’t about the weight. It’s about life. How much have I missed out on because of my weight issues? I’m not talking about just the physical stuff. Mama certainly isn’t aiming for the Tour de France or anything like that. I’m talking about the mental hold back too. What have I not done because I would be too embarrassed to do it? What did I not experience because I was ashamed of my body? What do I hold myself back from because I think people won’t accept me because of how I look? How unfair to other people to not give them the grand oppurtunityof knowing me! Just kidding. Sort of.
How often have I gone to a school thing for Sis and sat in the back, hiding?
We want to go to Disney in a few years. I’m afraid my fat ass won’t fit in an airplane seat.
I have very few pictures of me with my kids. I don’t want to see myself. When Ebaby looks at them years from now will she ask why I’m not in them?
Ebaby really wants to go to the beach. We live about two minutes from some good beaches. We have never gone in her lifetime.
I don’t wear shorts. Ever.
I’m afraid to let go of Ebaby’s hand for fear that she will run off, as little ones will, and I won’t be able to catch her.
What legacy am I passing on to my girls?
Is this how I want to live my life? HELL NO!
It isn’t just about the weight. It’s about my life.
Damnation, I want to live it!