CPA Mom To The Rescue

Tonight’s guest poster is CPA Mom.  She was one of the very first people to read my site.  Then she told people about me!

When Ice Cream Mama sent out her S.O.S. for guest bloggers, my first thought was “man, I wish I had the time, as I can totally understand the nausea thing – I was sick as a DOG with both pregnancies.” My second thought was, “give her something from your archives, igit!” So here is my third post ever from back in June 2006. It had exactly one comment on it. Enjoy! ( p.s the first person who can tell me what has changed from this description in the year since, I will send you a prize. email me at cpamomva dot gmail dot com HINT: not anyone’s ages, that’s too obvious)

Found this “Onion” on the most hysterical blog I have ever read called The Paper Napkin. I highly recommend her blog for reading.

– Name: CPAMom
– Birth date: March, 1971 (bummer, I’m 35 already? How did that happen?)
– Birthplace: Missouri
– Current Location: Virginia by the beach (come on down ya’ll!)
– Eye Color: Blue
– Hair Color: Auburn with blond highlights (for now – I change it constantly but just different shades of red, I’m not crazy!)
– Height: 5’10” (weight: WAY TOO HIGH)
– Righty or Lefty: Righty
– Zodiac Sign: Pisces
–Religion: Catholic

LAYER TWO:– Your heritage: mixed – German on father’s side; mix on Mother’s side
– The shoes you wore today: black sandals (love summer time – no hose!!)
– Your weakness: ice cream, warm cookies (STOP THE INSANITY!); mystery novels; other blogs–really how many blogs can one person read, I’ve got to get a hold of myself!
– Your fears: heights, plane crashes, harm befalling my children or husband (probably because I had a husband who died)
– Your perfect pizza: Deep dish with everything. I love Pizza Hut but I’m married to an Italian and he hates it as it is not “real” pizza. Uno’s has a good pizza too.
– Goal you’d like to achieve: world peace; baring that, I’d like to finally get my scrapbooks done. My son is 3 ½ and I haven’t done one page yet on his book (and let’s not mention my 20 month old’s book). Oy vey!

– Your most overused phrase on AIM: Don’t use AIM
– Your first waking thoughts: this must be a nightmare as there is no way it is morning already. — Your best physical feature: I have long fingers, the only thing that is not fat on me HA!
– Your most missed memory: being blissfully in love with my husband and blissfully unaware of the trouble ahead with his parents. Also the first few moments after the birth of each of my children, before sleep deprivation set in.

– Pepsi or Coke: either is fine, but I prefer Dr. Pepper
– McDonald’s or Burger King: both suck. I hate fast food. Except for Hardee’s apple pies! Yum. Anyone else remember the fried cherry pies McDonald’s used to make when we were kids?
– Single or group dates: At this point I’d take anything that does not include the pleasure of my children’s company so I can have dinner without someone on my lap!
– Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: either. I’m a southerner. I love iced tea of any kind.
– Chocolate or vanilla: neither. Give me “coffee lover’s only” from Cold Stone Creamery, baby!
– Cappuccino or coffee: any and all. Starbucks owns my soul and my wallet.

– Cuss: I don’t like to, but will when no other word will do (like those DUMB drivers on the road around here). I try and substitute now that my kids are repeating – “Oh Focaccia” is a good substitute.
– Smoke: No way, never even tried. Yuck!
– Sing: Yes, for now, my children love to sing with me.
– Take a shower everyday: Yes.
– Do you think you’ve been in love: yes
– Want to go to college: Yes, already went: four years, two degrees, one marriage, one divorce.

— Liked high school: Abhorred it.
– Want to get married: On my third already!
– Believe in yourself: not very often
– Get motion sickness: on planes, boats. Please G_d, kill me now if I forget my Dramamine.
– Think you’re attractive: only to the truly desperate
– Think you’re a health freak: I wish. Then maybe I’d be thin
– Get along with your parent(s): with my Mama yes. No contact whatsoever with my Dad)
– Like thunderstorms: no way, no how
– Play an instrument: played the organ for 5 years as a child.

LAYER SIX: In the past month…
– Drank alcohol: Yes – wine is the elixir of the gods
– Smoked: no way, no how
– Done a drug: only prescribed or OTC (what kind of person do you think I am?)
– Made Out: what is that? Must be a pre-child activity.
– Gone on a date: to a church fundraiser (a great musical but a very poor dinner) Friday night. Also to a great dinner and comedy (Lewis Black) last week – both with my husband.
– Gone to the mall?: not in a while
– Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: don’t tempt me.
– Eaten sushi: G_d no! Who wants to eat raw fish.
– Been on stage: no
– Been dumped: no
– Gone skating: no
– Made homemade cookies: does premade dough bought from a school fundraiser count?
– Dyed your hair: finally a yes. L’Oreal and I have a deep and abiding relationship.
– Stolen Anything: define “stolen”

– Played a game that required removal of clothing: ‘fraid not
–If so, was it mixed company: n/a
– Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: yes
– Been caught “doing something”: caught during H.S. at home with my boyfriend by my dad. You figure out what we were doing.
– Been called a tease: no
– Gotten beaten up: No.
– Shoplifted: a pack of gum when I was 4 I think
– Changed who you were to fit in: no, sarcasm fits in everywhere.

– Age you hope to be married: 21 first time, 24 Second time (widow at 28); 30 last time.
– Numbers and Names of Children: Tigger-3 1/2, Eeyore – 20 mo
– Describe your Dream Wedding: my third wedding. Only thing dreamier would be if someone else had paid for it!
– How do you want to die: without pain
– Where you want to go to college: already went. Southern Illinois University.
– What do you want to be when you grow up: rich. Come on Lotto!
– What country would you most like to visit: Anyplace safe and clean where they speak English. I’ve been to France, Italy and Australia. I’d like to go to the Caribbean, to Alaska, Ireland, England and back to Australia.

LAYER NINE:– Number of drugs taken illegally: none. I’m a goody-two shoes. But I was married to a drug addict/dealer in college – does that count?
– Number of people I could trust with my life: my husband, several friends
– Number of CDs that I own: too many to count. It is an obsession really. My downfall. Such a sad story…
– Number of piercings: just my ears.
– Number of tattoos: zero and counting. I’m a wuss. My husband has two, does that count?
– Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: a few times as a child for contests, “A” team in school; a few times as an adult when I get the urge to give my opinion to the entire community through the Letters to the Editor section (how is it people just don’t accept my opinion as the gospel truth, I’ll never know).
– Number of scars on my body: not sure. Several little ones as my skin scars very easily from mere scratches. My poor Tigger has the same problem. Large scars from my breast reduction surgery. Stretch marks and varicose veins galore.
– Number of things in my past that I regret: do I really need to relieve this?
–Current “cause” – food allergy awareness
–Motto: Sarcasm, not just a manner of speaking, but a way of life.



Filed under Little Help From My Friends

9 responses to “CPA Mom To The Rescue

  1. How am I not reading this girl?! I’m highly intrigued by her just based on her onion thingie.

    You, Mama, pick some great peeps to guest post!! 🙂

  2. Well, I guessed, but I’m probably not right!! Interesting though, because, I started reading CPA Mom probably in October or so in 2006 and I never went back through the archives. Great to learn a little more about her!

  3. A good way to learn more about you CPA Mom.

  4. Love those questionnaires, you learn so much about people!!! haha love the hair dye one, I am so into that!!!

  5. I’m still trying to guess.

  6. Nicole – “steal” all you want. I’d love if EVERYONE filled it out. It’s a great way to learn more about each other.

    Rachel, your guess was incorrect. Beth (ICM) actually guessed it and if no one else figures it out, I’ll have to send the fabulous prize to her!

    Beth – which drug are you taking now? See my post today for why I am curious

    Kellie, you are not reading me because of a falling out I had with another blogger and you supported her at the time. I’m pretty sure that is why. No hard feelings on my side though.

    Have a great day everyone!

  7. Great blog, you really are quite a talened writer. I really enjoyed reading this keep up the great work.

  8. I think I have missed the boat somewhere along the line…

    I have tried to read CPA Mom, but it is password protected and I don’t know the password.

    Good onion, CPA Mom!

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