Category Archives: Weight Loss

It’s Time

This weekend I was walking on the sidewalk in front of a stripmall.  I saw my reflection in the store window and determined that my ass needs its own zip code.  Combined with Ebaby’s lovely question I have decided it is time to jump back on the weight loss wagon.  I’m not going to make any “Weight Loss Wednesday” or “Fat Ass Friday” commitments though.  I’m just going to post when I’ve actually lost weight.  Maybe not even then.  Who knows? 

 

Before I got pregnant my goal was to lose 100 pounds before I turned 40.  At the time that gave me two years.  Totally doable- about one pound a week.  Now?  It’s a year later and I have gained weight.  Is anyone really surprised?  After I had Scoop I was thrilled because I lost all of my baby weight in three weeks.  To be honest, I only gained twenty pounds and had a nine pound four ounce baby and assorted fluids and stuff come out all at once.  It was great!  Then I went on the mental medicine.  And was still depressed.  And gained back all twenty pounds.  Needless to say I feel like crap.  So now I have 120 pound to lose and I will be 39 in August.  One hundred twenty pounds in 60 weeks?  That’s only 2 pounds a week so I supposed I can still do it.  Can you feel the confidence oozing from me? 

 

I will be breaking out my Weight Watchers At Home kit I got before getting knocked up.  WW seems to work really well for me.  (Though if Jenny Craig wants to send me free meals, I’ll be happy to blog all about it.) 

 

Wish me luck.  Cause, honey, I’m gonna need it!

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Fit Friday

My first weigh in:

Start weight:  268.5

Today’s weight:  262

Lost:  6.5 yippee!!

Yes! 6.5 pounds!  I know the first couple of weeks tend to be a higher than normal weight loss, but damn, that makes me happy!

This weeks topic:  The Plan

I have to have a plan.  For everything from dieting to running my errands.  I’m a list kind of gal.  I’m so crazy with the lists that if I do something that is not on the list, I will add it to the list just so I can cross it off. 

I chose the Weight Watchers Flex plan (points)  after some consideration. 

  • I had some success with it in the past.
  • I can eat anything.  Yeah I may blow some points on not so healthy stuff but I’m also not deprived.  When I feel deprived I’m just setting myself up for failure.
  • You don’t have to buy special food.  Some of those food plans out there cost more than my weekly groceries for a family of four.
  • On the other hand, they have WW brand food for easy point calculation.  I love bread.  Bread has about a kajillion points, per slice.  WW bread is one point for two slices.  I can have my bread (and eat it too.  Sorry couldn’t resist.)  WW also has sweet snacks with low point values.
  • The points are pretty easy to keep track of.  The at home kit came with an electronic points calculator that is super easy and compact.  It lives in my purse.

I could not do some of the plans out there.  Notice I don’t say diet.  I can’t think of this as a diet (more failure set up), I have to think of it as a plan.  A plan for a healthy life.  Anyway, I can’t do the plans that restrict carbs.  I need carbs.  I don’t say this from a “ooh carbs, my preshhhusss carbs”  standpoint, I say thisfrom a brain fog standpoint.  I literally can’t think without carb intake.

I can’t do plans that revolve around the glycemic index, eat certain foods in certain orders or at certain times.  I can’t do them because it requires too much thinking.  My brain can only process so much in any given day and there is no room for that stuff.

I can’t do liquid meal substitutes because, um, hello, I LOVE food!

So, for me, Weight Watchers is the way to go.

What is your plan?  What are you doing that may help me?  If you are doing WW, what is the best/worst thing about it in your opinion?

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The Only Rivets Are In My Jeans

I am having a mid life crisis.

What brought this on?

An invitation to my twenty year high school reunion.

Yes, I have been out of high school for damn near twenty years.

What does one do when one gets an invitation to a reunion?

Why, one takes stock of her life, that’s what one does.

Stock one:  My appearance

Fat.  That about sums it up.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t generally obsess about my weight.  But…lately?  I have.

I weigh (as of Friday) 268.5 pounds.  For my European readers, that is Stonehenge.

How the hell did I get so fat?

Lots of people use lots of excuses for why they are the way they are.  I could use excuses too.

Molested by a friend’s father as a child?  Check.

Alcoholic father who beat the crap out of us on a regular basis?  Check.

Hateful mother who instigated said beatings?  Check.

Thyroid problems?  Check, hell double check!

Low self esteem?  Checkity check check check.

My weight problem boils down to three things:  eating crap, not exercising, not knowing my own value.

My own value.  I forget sometimes that I am a person worthy of good things.  I forget that God did not put me on this planet to be a slave to my emotions thus enslaving me to food.  I forget that I am valuable.   

I generally don’t indulge myself at the negative buffet but when other things are not going so well it all just snowballs.

It’s odd but when I get down on myself I remember something that happened over thirty years ago.  When I was in sixth grade (twelve or so years old) some girls who I thought were my best friends, stabbed me with a pencil.  They said I was so fat and they wanted to see if I would pop.

Thirty freakin years ago!!  I remember it like it was last week.  I remember the sadness and the anger that these bitches were supposed to be my friends.  Most of all I remember the shame.

That’s an awful feeling, shame.  Yet it almost sounds like a friend’s name.  Oh Shame is coming over and we’re going to watch a movie.  Shame and I are going for a bite to eat.  Well shame has been my friend for far too long.  It’s time for that bitch to move on.

I have made a decision.  This is not the life I want.  This is not the life I want for my family.  I want to be here when my kids have kids.  I want to be able to play with Ebaby and not have to stop every few minutes because I can’t keep up with the four year old.  I want to love and not feel shame.

So what’s the plan?

Weight Watchers and exercise.

I did it before I got pregnant and lost twenty five pounds in eight weeks.  Counting points works for me.

I decided to get the at home kit.  With my schedule I can’t go to meetings and frankly I can weigh myself for $12 or whatever a week.  I thought about the online program but I have enough to do online without adding that.  Plus after reading Chick’s post on Frannie’s blog I’m glad I didn’t.  Apparently shame is a frequent visitor on those message boards.

What could I get from meetings that I won’t get at home?  Accountability and encouragement.  That’s where you guys come in.  All encouragement welcome.  I’ll also take any WW recipes or tips you may have!  

I started the program on Friday.  I will weigh only on Fridays.  I also took my measurements, which I will not be posting!  I will retake my measurements once a month.  I probably won’t tell you the actual measurements until I hit hot mama range. 

My goal?  Initially it is to lose 25 pounds.  My long term goal is to lose 100 pounds by my fortieth birthday (August 30, 2009).  That’s two years and four months away so I think that’s reasonable.

I am determined this time.  I hope it sticks.

I also want to invite anyone who is having struggles with their weight to come over on the weekends (since I don’t post until late Friday) and use the comments section as a message board of our own.  No shame allowed.

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Weight Loss Wednesday- The Really Sucky One

I did so tremendously bad that I am not even going to tell you about it.  Let’s just say tomorrow is another freakin day and leave it at that, ‘kay?

This week has been so rotten that I wouldn’t be surprised if all my hair fell out.  I don’t know, it seemed appropriately sucky.  I’m going to continue with the carnival of crap and go pay our bills.

I’ll try to be chipper tomorrow.  Who am I kidding?  I’ll try to be awake tomorrow.

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Weight Loss Wednesday- Now With More Fat

Start weight:  266.5

Goal weight: 166.5

This week’s weight:  261.5

GAIN:  4

Total lost:  5 pounds

It has actually been two weeks since  I weighed in and I have gained four pounds.  Whatever.  It has been a rough couple of weeks and I refuse to beat myself up over it.  I still have a total loss so I am happy.  Sort of.

On to the weather!

It is ridiculous here.  Last night we had sleet which left about an inch and a half of ice every where.  In the middle of the night the temp went up and it changed to rain.  The last time we saw rain like this there was a giant ark in the middle of a field.  Just about every road I took to work was flooded.  I am sitting here barefoot with my socks hanging over a space heater.  Did I mention I am working out of our old office?  I can’t be around a co-worker right now because she is pregnant and I am still radioactive (hey, does anyone remember that song?  My husband & I were trying to think of who sang itwhen we were in the hospital last week and we can’t remember.  I could google it but I’m lazy.)

Anyway, the office I am in?  No heat.  Didn’t I just do this at the other place?

Sing it with me, “Oh happy day, oh happy day!”

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Weight Loss Wednesday- The One That Wasn’t

In my mad dash to get a few hours in at work before I become radioactive, I forgot to weigh myself.

Oops.

I go this afternoon at 2:30, then I go to the hotel until Friday.  So I guess this weigh in isn’t going to happen.  Frankly, I am so frazzled and stressed over the whole damn hospital thing I’m just not that worried about the weight right now.  Sigh.

I’ll update tonight from the hotel & let you know how the treatment went.  Yeah, my main requirements in a hotel were:  clean, reasonably priced and internet access!

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Filed under Mama, Thyroid, Weight Loss

Weight Loss Wednesday

Starting weight: 266.5

Goal weight: 166.5

Today’s weight: 257.5

Lost this week: 1.5

Total lost: 9 pounds

I am glad I lost nine pound but I’m also kind of disappointed in myself.  I know I can do better than this.  I still haven’t exercised and I know this is key.  Yet I still don’t do it.  Hopefully when I finally get my thyroid issues dealt with I can really focus on losing weight and quitting smoking.

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